Papal Reflections

On October 16, 1978, I was in the second month of my senior year of high school. Jimmy Carter was President. We were in the Cold War. Today, my eldest son is in the final months of his last year of high school. There have been four subsequent presidents. The Communist threat has changed to the terrorist threat. Most importantly and to the point, my spiritual life has gone through quite a roller coaster ride during this time, as well. Pope John Paul II has been the only Pope our children have ever known. For them his influence could hardly be measured. However, I am here reflecting on what JP2 has done for me.

Of course, I was in high school when Pope John Paul I was elected and then shortly afterward died. As with most men, I took awhile to mature. I remember joking (certainly not with originality) that the next Pope would be Pope George-Ringo. It was definitely a big surprise and therefore got everyone’s attention when a Polish Cardinal was elected. Because Detroit has a big Polish community, there was lots of celebrating locally. In 1987, he even visited Hamtramck. I was puzzled when at his first address, he said, “Be not afraid”. Who was afraid? I barely thought of the statement in theological terms.

The first time he really impressed me spiritually was early in his pontificate. Jimmy Carter did an interview with Playboy magazine. In the interview, he said he lusted after women. It made all the papers. Without mentioning Carter by name, the Pope publicly quoted the Scripture in which Jesus says that if you only look lustfully upon another woman you commit adultery in your heart. Further, he said if you look lustfully upon your own wife, you commit adultery in your heart. Of course, the world at large sorely misunderstood the whole situation, (probably Carter’s meaning, and definitely the Pope’s.) Many thought the Pope was saying it is wrong to desire your wife. Now some of this is foggy, but I remember distinctly being surprised that this Pope was engaging the culture and this was different.

I cannot summarize twenty-six years of the Pope’s accomplishments or my spiritual pratfalls in short space. My spiritual growth has been profoundly affected by John Paul 2. I have read all of his encyclicals at least cursorily. I remember particularly being impressed by his interview/book, Crossing the Threshold of Hope as another important attempt to engage the wider culture. He has taken people, even people who strongly disagree, seriously. The 1993 Catechism was a major work, which brought the teachings to the world and to many Catholics in a straightforward way. Though he did not write it, he nurtured it and brought it to fruition.

Still it took until 1995 for me to accept my full Catholic identity and to understand that my life must be dedicated to Christ in His Church. I have been a regular Sunday Mass attending Catholic all of my life. When I was in Catholic school for three years, my faith deepened in mysterious ways that helped me through my own many faults over the years. In 1994 on my thirty-third birthday, I made a blasphemous joke, that I was unsatisfied with my progress to date since I had accomplished so little compared to Jesus. Though I quickly repented of the blasphemy, the thought of how little I had accomplished spiritually was brought to my attention in a new way. What kind of relationship did I have with God? Could I afford to take him so lightly?

Many things combined that year to bring me to a decision point with God. First, my son, Jim, challenged me in my faith. He was precociously asking many questions that I sheepishly was completely inadequately prepared to answer. You cannot give what you do not have. Jack Kevorkian was roaming the state snuffing out lives at an astonishing rate. As a new homeschooling parent, I took seriously my role as a teacher and actively began reading prodigiously. All around me were people who were being awakened, just as I was to our faiths. Many of us felt energized by this active, brilliant, engaging Pope. Some were moved specifically by his writings, which were frequent, and accessible, others by the way he related to people. Lastly, I sinned grievously. I did so knowing I was wrong but also rationalizing that many Catholics and even clergy approved of my actions.

God have mercy on me. God had mercy on me. I was brought to my knees. I knew that I had offended my God and I asked for his mercy. I received that grace. How, in the midst of a renewal of my faith and the beginning of my adult education in it, did I go so far off course? I know now that God brought me to the point where I had to decide if I really believed in Him, really trusted Him. If I took him at His Word, I must be obedient to him. This was the most cleansing moment of my life so far. Conversion is miraculous. I was able to unload many burdens, chronic sins that I had struggled with for all my life up to that point.

After conversion is conversation. Conversation is still turning, turning ever toward the face of God in interaction with Him. Prayer. Still I needed much more education. I come from the poorly catechized generation of Kumbaya Catholics. The Pope was very helpful here. Now I read encyclicals, saint biographies, and everything I could get my hands on. The Pope had set up (just for me) a revolution in Catholic publishing. There was (and is) quite a bit to access in spiritual reading today. John Paul 2 rightly receives much credit for this revival.

Several years ago I read the George Weigel biography of the Pope and was bowled over by his life. Now as I watch his final sufferings as this once athletic man is crippled and this smiling Pope’s face becomes a mask, I know that there is a deep integrity about his person and all of his teaching. He takes God seriously. He has taken us seriously. Yes, he preaches the faith but importantly he lives it. God bless you John Paul II. Thank you.